I wanted to write this to explain what has been going on with me for the past few months. As you may have noticed I have not been in the best of moods lately. Unfortunately it has caused me to think, say, and do things that I regret. I guess what started this was a few months ago a very old friend of mine passed away. You probably saw my posts or I told you about him but his name was Grady Reese. I knew Grady since I could barely walk. I have never experienced a major death in my life. The only member of my family to die was my Grandfather, Arthur Smith. But he died when I was about 4 or 5 years old so I did not understand death at that time. Grady on the other hand, his death hit me. It hit me a lot harder then I thought it did. As I explained to people his death was "A Grim Reminder of My Own Mortality". I started to realize that I don't have nearly as much time as I thought I did. I do not fear Death. Death is simply another aspect of life. I have come to accept that someday I will die. As I said recently "If it lives, It will die. There is no changing that".
I also have been struggling lately with feelings that I have failed in achieving the success I wanted here in Denver. I guess its because I set too high of expectations for myself (One of my flaws). Normally these two things on their own I could handle but together I have been struggling. Now on top of that something new has come up. Many of you may not know this yet but my Grandmother, Margie Smith, has been given at best 1 year to live. She has been diagnosed with stomach cancer that metastasized into her lungs. After Arthur's death Margie lived with my family when I was just starting school so she helped raise me and I am very close with her. These things have been weighing very heavily on my mind lately and it has caused me to lash out at the people I am closest with. I want to officially apologize for that behavior and hope that you will forgive me. Unfortunately this is a battle I must fight on my own against my own doubts and fears. I appreciate every one of you and know that I love you all. I hope this explains my actions and gives you a better understanding of what is going on with me.
Rants, Raves, Thoughts, Ideas, Stories, and other Random Crap from the mind of Serotonin
Monday, August 29, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Gone but Not Forgotten
Most of you may have seen my recent post about Grady Reese passing away. I wanted to share some memories and thoughts I had of him. Ive known Grady since I could barely walk and as I said in the post he was close friends with 3 Generations of Trumbo's. He was a close friend of my Grandpa Lee Roy, hosted youth events for me Dad Marvin, and was always saying hi and asking me how I was doing every time he saw me. People often refer to certian individuals as one of a kind and Grady is about as one-of-a-kind as you can get. It was physically impossible to be in a bad mood around him because of his personality and his willingness to listen. I do not mourn his passing but I do regret that I havn't seen him quite some time and I will never hear his unique greeting. There are a few people I have encountered in my life that I will never forget (Ms. Cummings my kindergarten teacher, The Honduran that would come up to us when we were leaving the hotel in Honduras and encourage us, and Grady Reese is on that list. I miss you brother but I rejoice in the fact that you are in God's loving arms now and have achived the reward the Master has prepared for you and that you devoted your life to recieving.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
When Mathias met Amana
Here is a scene from a story I have been working one for quite some time. It was titled The Maiden and the Mage but Ive decided that it doesn't work so I don't have an official title for it...yet. Enjoy.
Mathias sat on his horse looking out over the valley leading toward the coast. It was very lush and green, covered in vegetation. A small piece of beauty that remained in light of the long war that encompassed the Lio'Shian Empire and the Kingdom of Elodia. Mathias looked like a simple traveler but he was in fact High Mage of the Court of the Empire. He wore a simple pair of black pants, a dark blue shirt that hung loosely around his chest and a pair of boots. His staff was slung across his back and his satchel was secured on the back of the horse for now. After a few moments to finish his pipe he stashed it back in his pack and spurred the horse forward. He often enjoyed just riding like this. Away from the war, away from the devastation. He had often wondered why this war continued like it did. Very few people even remembered how it started. They were raise to believe that Elodians were evil, but Mathias did not share their views. What purpose was there in fighting if you didn't know what you were fighting for? He made his way toward the camp on the beach while these thoughts ran through his head. He snapped back to reality when a guard walked up to him. "You there! State your business." He said. "I am Mathias Arrden. I come on behalf of the Emperor." He said pulling his pendant out for the guard to see. The guards eyes widened and he dropped to one knee. "Forgive me, My Lord. I had no idea." He said, visibly shaken. "You were doing your duty." Mathias said as he dismounted the horse and retrieved his pack. "Arrange food and water for my horse and tell the Captain I wish to speak with him." Mathias said. The man bowed. "At once. This way, please" The guard led him through the camp toward the commanders tent. Mathias stepped inside and greeted the commander.
Hours later after the sun had set Mathias stepped out of the tent with the commander. "It is late, My Lord. Why don't you stay the night and return tomorrow." the commander said. "I wish I could but I have important business at the castle." Mathias made his way toward his horse when the sounds of cheering and a whip caught his attention. He followed the sound and found a large crowd of solders. The sound of crying could be heard now. Mathias pushed his way through the crowd and stopped. Tied to a post was a girl not more then a few years younger then he was. She was wearing nothing more then rags due to the whip and her face was bruised and bloody. Mathias stepped in and stopped the solder with the whip. "I demand to know what is going on here." The commander pushed through to him. "She is an Elodian. We found here wandering on our shores. The solders decided to have some fun with her." The commander said. "Well the fun ends now. You are you release her into my custody immediately. Prepare a second horse." Mathis said, barely containing his anger. "But sir..." He started to protest when Mathias fist flew up and cracked him in the nose. "You dare question my orders?" Mathias said. The commander felt his nose, now covered with blood. "No, My Lord" He said. The crowed disbursed. Mathias knelt down next to the girl. "It's OK. I won't hurt you" He said. She just stared at him, not saying anything to him. The commander brought his horse over with another one. Mathias untied her from the pole but did not untie her hands. He lifted her up onto the horse and tied her hands to the saddle horn. He took the reigns and tied them to his. Climbing on to his horse he rode out of the camp back the way he came.
A few hours later Mathias stopped the horses. He climbed down and tied the horses to a nearby tree. "We will stop here for the night. Now you have two choices. You can stay with me under my protection, or you can try to escape and take your chances with those solders. Now what will it be?" He said. She sighed, realizing that he was right, and nodded gently. "Good choice." He said as he untied her from the horse and helped her down. He sat her down and proceeded to build a fire for them. He sat down next to her and went to take her face in his hands. She shyed away from him. "Its OK. I'm not going to hurt you. I just need to take a look at these wounds." She relaxed and let him turn her head to the side. He reached in his bag and pulled out a few vials he carried. He poured some lotion in his hand and poured a few different powdered on it. He mixed it with his fingers for a bit before taking a small amount and smelling it. Pleased with the mixture he turned to her. "Now hold still. This might sting abit." He applied the lotion to the bruises and cuts on her face. She hissed slightly when he applied on her cuts. But after a few moments she calmed. "Does that feel better?" He asked her. She nodded slightly. "OK, now I need to look at your back. I promise that I won't take advantage of you. OK?" He asked. She nodded again and turned away from him. He lifted the rags and saw multiple deep gashes on her back. The had stopped bleeding for now but the rags she wore were soaked with blood. He took the remainder of the lotion and applied it to her back. She turned back toward him. "Are you hungry?" He asked her. She nodded again. "Ok. Ill make us some food. He set up a pot over the fire and cooked some stew from the food he carried in his pack. He poured a bowl for her and knelt down to her. He untied her hands and handed her the bowl. They ate in relative silence for a moment. "I never introduced myself to you. My name is Mathias. What is yours?" He asked. She didn't answer for a few moments. Just when Mathias gave up she answered him. "Amana, My name is Amana" She said. "So you can speak." He said. "Why are you doing this?" She asked him. "What do you mean?" He said, one eyebrow raised. "I'm Elodian, not just that but I'm a Princess. My Grandfather is King of Elodia. I'm your mortal enemy. Why are you being kind to me?" She said, keeping her eyes on the ground. "You may be a Princess of Elodia. I am the adopted son of the Emperor. Our countries may be at war but that is no reason why you and I should be enemies. Elodian or not, no one deserves what those solders did to you. That's why you are under my protection." Mathias said. He grabbed a couple of sleeping rolls from the horse and laid them out. "Get some rest. Your wounds should heal by morning. If not when we get to the castle Ill get Rigel to take a look at them." He said. "Promise me one thing, Mathias. You said I'm under your protection. Promise me that I stay that way. Please?" She said. "I promise, Amana. You have nothing to worry about." He said as he laid down. Just as he was about to fall asleep she called his name. "Mathias?" He rolled over to look at her from across the fire. "Mm?" He said. "Thank you." She said quietly.
Tell me what you think. I'm open to any and all thoughts, comments, or criticisms.
Mathias sat on his horse looking out over the valley leading toward the coast. It was very lush and green, covered in vegetation. A small piece of beauty that remained in light of the long war that encompassed the Lio'Shian Empire and the Kingdom of Elodia. Mathias looked like a simple traveler but he was in fact High Mage of the Court of the Empire. He wore a simple pair of black pants, a dark blue shirt that hung loosely around his chest and a pair of boots. His staff was slung across his back and his satchel was secured on the back of the horse for now. After a few moments to finish his pipe he stashed it back in his pack and spurred the horse forward. He often enjoyed just riding like this. Away from the war, away from the devastation. He had often wondered why this war continued like it did. Very few people even remembered how it started. They were raise to believe that Elodians were evil, but Mathias did not share their views. What purpose was there in fighting if you didn't know what you were fighting for? He made his way toward the camp on the beach while these thoughts ran through his head. He snapped back to reality when a guard walked up to him. "You there! State your business." He said. "I am Mathias Arrden. I come on behalf of the Emperor." He said pulling his pendant out for the guard to see. The guards eyes widened and he dropped to one knee. "Forgive me, My Lord. I had no idea." He said, visibly shaken. "You were doing your duty." Mathias said as he dismounted the horse and retrieved his pack. "Arrange food and water for my horse and tell the Captain I wish to speak with him." Mathias said. The man bowed. "At once. This way, please" The guard led him through the camp toward the commanders tent. Mathias stepped inside and greeted the commander.
Hours later after the sun had set Mathias stepped out of the tent with the commander. "It is late, My Lord. Why don't you stay the night and return tomorrow." the commander said. "I wish I could but I have important business at the castle." Mathias made his way toward his horse when the sounds of cheering and a whip caught his attention. He followed the sound and found a large crowd of solders. The sound of crying could be heard now. Mathias pushed his way through the crowd and stopped. Tied to a post was a girl not more then a few years younger then he was. She was wearing nothing more then rags due to the whip and her face was bruised and bloody. Mathias stepped in and stopped the solder with the whip. "I demand to know what is going on here." The commander pushed through to him. "She is an Elodian. We found here wandering on our shores. The solders decided to have some fun with her." The commander said. "Well the fun ends now. You are you release her into my custody immediately. Prepare a second horse." Mathis said, barely containing his anger. "But sir..." He started to protest when Mathias fist flew up and cracked him in the nose. "You dare question my orders?" Mathias said. The commander felt his nose, now covered with blood. "No, My Lord" He said. The crowed disbursed. Mathias knelt down next to the girl. "It's OK. I won't hurt you" He said. She just stared at him, not saying anything to him. The commander brought his horse over with another one. Mathias untied her from the pole but did not untie her hands. He lifted her up onto the horse and tied her hands to the saddle horn. He took the reigns and tied them to his. Climbing on to his horse he rode out of the camp back the way he came.
A few hours later Mathias stopped the horses. He climbed down and tied the horses to a nearby tree. "We will stop here for the night. Now you have two choices. You can stay with me under my protection, or you can try to escape and take your chances with those solders. Now what will it be?" He said. She sighed, realizing that he was right, and nodded gently. "Good choice." He said as he untied her from the horse and helped her down. He sat her down and proceeded to build a fire for them. He sat down next to her and went to take her face in his hands. She shyed away from him. "Its OK. I'm not going to hurt you. I just need to take a look at these wounds." She relaxed and let him turn her head to the side. He reached in his bag and pulled out a few vials he carried. He poured some lotion in his hand and poured a few different powdered on it. He mixed it with his fingers for a bit before taking a small amount and smelling it. Pleased with the mixture he turned to her. "Now hold still. This might sting abit." He applied the lotion to the bruises and cuts on her face. She hissed slightly when he applied on her cuts. But after a few moments she calmed. "Does that feel better?" He asked her. She nodded slightly. "OK, now I need to look at your back. I promise that I won't take advantage of you. OK?" He asked. She nodded again and turned away from him. He lifted the rags and saw multiple deep gashes on her back. The had stopped bleeding for now but the rags she wore were soaked with blood. He took the remainder of the lotion and applied it to her back. She turned back toward him. "Are you hungry?" He asked her. She nodded again. "Ok. Ill make us some food. He set up a pot over the fire and cooked some stew from the food he carried in his pack. He poured a bowl for her and knelt down to her. He untied her hands and handed her the bowl. They ate in relative silence for a moment. "I never introduced myself to you. My name is Mathias. What is yours?" He asked. She didn't answer for a few moments. Just when Mathias gave up she answered him. "Amana, My name is Amana" She said. "So you can speak." He said. "Why are you doing this?" She asked him. "What do you mean?" He said, one eyebrow raised. "I'm Elodian, not just that but I'm a Princess. My Grandfather is King of Elodia. I'm your mortal enemy. Why are you being kind to me?" She said, keeping her eyes on the ground. "You may be a Princess of Elodia. I am the adopted son of the Emperor. Our countries may be at war but that is no reason why you and I should be enemies. Elodian or not, no one deserves what those solders did to you. That's why you are under my protection." Mathias said. He grabbed a couple of sleeping rolls from the horse and laid them out. "Get some rest. Your wounds should heal by morning. If not when we get to the castle Ill get Rigel to take a look at them." He said. "Promise me one thing, Mathias. You said I'm under your protection. Promise me that I stay that way. Please?" She said. "I promise, Amana. You have nothing to worry about." He said as he laid down. Just as he was about to fall asleep she called his name. "Mathias?" He rolled over to look at her from across the fire. "Mm?" He said. "Thank you." She said quietly.
Tell me what you think. I'm open to any and all thoughts, comments, or criticisms.
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